Wah-bulance

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Quickly becoming the worst blogger out there. In my defense…I’ve had my usual busyness, with a bunch of extra nuts on top: a trip to NYC for my brother’s wedding, entertaining our first 2016 visitors, trip planning, and a last minute trip home. I’ve also spent a fair amount of time searching for a horse to loan (which only resulted in bruises, no horse to call my own), going to doctors, and trying to sorta kinda start marathon training.

I know I’m a shite blogger…and I’d love to be a better one. But honestly, a lot of the time I just don’t feel like blogging. Why? Because there’s a lot of other shite going down that takes up my time, emotions, and energy. But because of that, I wanted to take a quick moment to dispel the idea that twitter, facebook, instagram, and many blog posts might suggest: that life is a rose garden. I’m not looking for sympathy, and I’m not out to share all my grievances (no one has time for that list). I just don’t like feeding into the hype that everyone is having these kick ass lives that you see online, leaving you feeling inadequate and sad. We all know social media only highlights (or exaggerates) the good in everyone’s life. No one is out there bragging about washing their running tights with gum in the pocket, their favorite, most expensive dress not fitting, all of a sudden having a complexion that resembles a 13 year-old, being over budget for the month, feeling like their college education was a bit of a waste and not knowing what the eff to do with their professional life, and their husband coming home at 2am drunk as a skunk. It makes sense though, people either don’t want to be brought down by the Debbie Downer side of life or they don’t want to have to call the wah-mublance for someone who can’t suck it up and move on. But at the risk of seeming like I’m digging for some sort of attention… life isn’t all sunshine and sheep over here.

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My mother in law has been ill for quite some time now. Which makes being thousands of miles away all the more difficult. There’s a lot of stress, worry, guilt, last minute flights, and overall sadness.

We’ve had a very tragic, untimely death of a family member. Death is never easy, but when it’s someone so young, kind, promising, admirable…. it’s really unbearable. Emotionally, I’m exhausted.

I need two surgeries. They aren’t huge, but they both need me to go under, experience immense pain, and continue with pain and hard work for 6 months of 3x a week PT and rehab. As if that doesn’t suck enough…I can’t get them done at the same time, and each surgery would remove me from everything that makes me happy in my life for 6 months.

Aberdeen is an oil city, and oil prices are in the shitter right now. There’s also the whole Brexit thing. Most things are uncertain in North Sea oil and even more uncertain in the UK, and the things that are certain are a lot of my friends are leaving Scotland.

Gun violence is running rampant in my home country, and as is the case every summer, especially abundant in my favorite city: Chicago.

Trump is the republican nominee. People from my home country agree with the hatred he spews.  Enough said.

Those are my qualms.  So I’m sorry for going MIA, lame content, and a huge lack of specific blog posts I’ve been meaning to write because lately…it’s been hard. My heart’s heavy right now, and that’s okay, that’s life. I am fully aware that I haven’t exactly drawn the short end of the stick and there are thousands (millions?) of people going through much worse. But now you know it’s not all drinking cocktails on a beach/brilliant sunshine hikes/fabulous vacations…that’s just what I choose to share on social media. Because even though you wouldn’t feel any jealousy reading about my hurdles, I’m sure you’d get over reading about my pity-party too.

2 Comments

  1. Lillian

    Thanks for sharing the not-so-glamorous part of expat life. People just don’t understand. I’m so interested in hearing your thoughts on Aberdeen… seems like we’re moving there at one of the worst times :/

    Reply
    1. Lauren (Post author)

      Well, I love Aberdeenshire (the city itself is kinda meh compared to big european cities)….and you’ll have the pick of the litter in houses. And there are still alot of expats…just not as many. And we’re not moving anytime soon so we can be friends.

      Reply

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